RSV Bites Big Time

It seems crazy to me that this picture was taken two weeks ago. So many things have changed since then. Many of you know that Melia has RSV and is now hospitalized at Primary Children's Hospital and has been there since Sunday. The first two days she was there she looked good and was improving but the doctors warned me that it was going to get worse and it did. She is now in the ICU because she was working too hard to breath. The doctors said that if she continued to work this hard she could get tired and just stop. SCARY! So they transfered her up there to get her on full oxygen. They won't let me feed her because there's a chance she could spit it up and some go into her lungs which would not be good. They put in a feeding tube but it bypasses her stomach so she is ravenous and its so sad when she wakes up and she hears my voice and starts searching for food and I can't give it to her. It breaks my heart. She was doing better today. She's not working so much to breath and they've started weaning her off some of the oxygen.


This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. She's going to be okay, and I know this, but it's so hard to watch my baby go through this and then to be away from my other kids. Without my family I would not be surviving. I'm never going to be able to repay them. She received a blessing last night and they blessed her that she might have the strength to get through this and to bless her family with strength also. Whenever I'm having a hard time I think of this and know that there will be an end to all of this madness. I don't think I've ever prayed so much in my life than I have these past five days.

Being in the ICU helps me realize that it could be a lot worse also. There are so many sick kids and some it will take weeks or months to get better and some kids might never. I need to remember that we are indeed very blessed. We're blessed to be in such a good hospital with such good doctors and nurses and to be so close. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't pop home when I needed a break. I'm blessed that Jayla and Blake are such good kids and adjust so well. I miss them so much that it hurts sometimes but it helps to know that they are doing fine with their grandma and that they're happy. I know a lot of you are praying for us and thank you so much because I draw strength from knowing this. Hopefully the next time I post we will all be home together as a family.

Melia's Delivery Day

I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to continue with the story. So after my water broke, like I said, I just kind of laid there and laughed before I actually got up to do something about this water gushing out of me. Luckily, I already had bags packed from going to the doctor earlier to check on things. I called the doctor and he said to go to the hospital right away since I was already dilated to a 4. On the way there in the car I wasn't really leaking much but once we got there and I got out of the car we had a flood. The back of my pants were soaked and even the front had a trickle line. I thought, Well last week when we came there were no other patients in the Emergency room so there probably is nobody there this time. Wrong! There were at least ten people in there. I hope that they all came to the conclusion that my water broke and that I just didn't pee my pants.

I got to labor and delivery and all the nurses thought this was going to be a fast delivery but I knew different. With Blake I came in dilated at a 5 and I was still there 12 hours before he arrived so I knew this time it might be the same. Sure enough my labor was slow-progressing so they had to give me petocin and I proudly made it to a 6 before I asked for an epidural. Every time I would get checked they would all say that there was something different but didn't know what it was. One nurse thought she felt the baby's fingers and because of that she called in the doctor to come check it out because a baby to come out with an arm up is not a good thing. It could cause nerve damage in the arm. After feeling around the doctor finally figured out it was her face that they were all touching. She wanted to come into the world with a view I guess. The way he figured that out is he accidentally stuck his finger in her mouth. Then came the painful part. He reached up to try to get her to put her face down like she was supposed to and even with the epidural it was painful because it was starting to wear off. At that point I asked them to up my dose in the epidural but the doctor said he wanted to hold off because he wanted me to start pushing. So here came the big moment. The moment where you think, Well there really is no way of going back now. Of course from the moment you get pregnant you know there's no going back but it always seems to hit me the hardest at this point and I do a little freak out in my head. Daniel then promptly took his position behind the curtain so he couldn't see any gross-ness. We discovered with Jayla that he couldn't take any of this kind of stuff without almost fainting so even though I would like him in the room I don't want to have to have the nurses lift him off the floor or just leave him there and step all over him.

After pushing for about 20 minutes while the doctor tried to reposition the head in between the pushing and epidural wearing off (OUCH!) she finally arrived, with a little help of some suction, on Saturday, February 6th 2010 at 2:37 pm. They put her on my stomach and of course she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen (just like what I thought with my other two children). They weighed her and yelled out she was 6lbs and 5oz. Holy cow! She was big for being 5 weeks early. Imagine if I would have went a few more weeks.

She's still pretty purple here but still oh so cute.

Now she's at a normal color and still oh so cute.

When you hold your baby for the first time you will never forget that moment. You're finally meeting the person that you and your partner created and the life that you supported inside you. I don't know how anyone cannot believe in God after having a baby. They come out so perfect and the only word to describe it is miracle. I noticed that her hair had a red tint but thought maybe it was just blood. After she had a bath it was still red, a strawberry blonde color, which she gets from Daniel's mom and her eyes were dark blue. She has Daniel's lips and nose but overall I think she looks more like me.

I can never get enough of just staring at her. I want to drink it all in and memorize everything about her.

Here she is all bruised up. She seems to have gotten poked in the eye a few times. She also had a pretty good bruise from the suction. For being so little she still had some pretty good chubby cheeks that I'm pretty sure came from me. I've always had chubby cheeks.

She had to be put on oxygen and be monitored for a little bit but she was doing so well they took her off and I was able to have her in the room with me but the day after she was born they found out she had pnuemonia. She had to be put back on the monitors with an IV for antibiotics and a tube for oxygen. It was so hard to go in the nursery and see her hooked up on everything and to know that she was sick. It broke my heart. I knew that she was going to be okay but you still can't help it from breaking. I just wanted to take her home and I couldn't. I had to wait a couple more days and with Blake it was the same situation where he had to stay extra days to but it doesn't make in any easier to have gone through it before. Luckily, with everyday she showed improvement and I finally got to take her home that following Wednesday. We have been very blessed to have such a beautiful daughter join our family. I look at her and my kids and I already can't imagaine not having her here. I love you Melia Carol Montero!

The Day Before

This was me at a little over 35 weeks the day before I delivered.

I just got off of bedrest after having been on it for a week. It's harder than you think to be lazy. My mom and sister were a big help to me though. The reason I was on bedrest is becuase I started going into labor at 34 weeks. I went into Labor and Delivery having contractions about 4 minutes apart and they checked me and I was dilated to a 4 and she was right in position to come out. They gave me some medicine to stop the cramping and contractions and it totally took the cramping away which was a great relief to me. I had been cramping all day long and was so tired. The doctor really wanted to give the baby at least another week especially for her lungs to develop. I had to stay overnight to be monitored and I swear that bed was the most uncomfortable thing ever. The doctor came and checked on me the next morning and I was still a 4, my contractions were really sporadic, and she moved back up more into my tummy area so he felt confident in sending me home but with restrictions. A week later I went in for a check up and everything was still the same but minus the contractions and I felt better than I had during that whole week. He took me off bedrest because he was more confident that if I did have the baby she would be okay. He thought I would go at least another week but not more than two weeks before the baby came. I was so ecstatic and the first thing I did was go to Target. I was excited to be able to go to the store and go shopping. When I got home I did a little cleaning and laundry. I went to bed feeling good but tired. Later that night I woke up at 2 AM because my water had broke. I just kinda laid there and laughed to myself because I couldn't believe it was actually happening...To be continued.

What!? I'm 28!

My awesome birthday present from the best husband.

Another birthday has come and gone. I really wasn't expecting anything big to happen on the day. Birthdays have never been a big deal growing up in my family. We g0t one present, had cake and ice cream, and maybe the grandparents would come over. Occassionally we got to have a party but more often we usually didn't. Which was fine with me and never wished it any differently. So I wasn't expecting much this birthday. But being pregnant and over-emotional it really effected me that there was no hoopla. In one part of my mind I knew my reaction was crazy but in another part I felt I was justified. So all day I was just feeling down. Even though I got great birthday wishes on facebook, which I appreciated so much, my hormonal emotions overruled that day. Later that night my husband Daniel called and said he was still working and wouldn't be home until late and he really was sorry, blah, blah, blah. In the past he's joked about being far away from home when he's actually been just outside the door. So I asked him if he was joking and he said no over and over again. I hung up the phone and the waterworks began. Well, low and behold who walks in the door a few minutes later? Yup, Daniel. So now I was angry because of the joke and still not happy to see him even though he had cake. He told me he forgot his phone in the truck so he'd be right back. When he came back in he told me to close my eyes. When I opened them he was holding a huge piano keyboard (still in the box). At the sight of the gift the waterworks kicked up a notch and we were in for a flood. I was so surprised! Back in October we were at Best Buys and saw some keyboards. I told Daniel it would be nice to have one so I could start playing the piano again. I never said anything about it after that but he remembered. I was so touched by his thoughtful gift. So that totally made up for how lousy I was feeling all day. I still get teary-eyed thinking about that night and my wonderful husband.

The next day was icing on the cake when I went to lunch with my mom, Diane, Jadyn, Jason, Kate, Haden, Makayla, and my kids. We went to Firehouse and had delicious focaccia bread and a FH'zookie (to die for!), oh yeah, and pizza too. Then later that evening my good friend Ashley came over and we got to catch up and go out for dinner also. It really ended up being a good birthday thanks to my sweet husband, my family, and good friends.

They Grow Up So Fast

It's the biggest cliche ever but one of the most true. My kids are making some big-kid milestones. The first being Blake is enrolled in a Play-n-Learn class without his big sister. We thought this would be good for him because he relies so much on her in social settings and we want him to be able to develop without that crutch there. I was pretty nervous the first day because Blake has always been on the shy side but not to worry, he did great. Jayla had a harder time than he did. She wanted to stay and play and was so mad she had to leave. There were so many cool toys that she wanted to play with. After I dragged her out of the class I think she was shocked/concerned that we left Blake. At the class they have one of those windows that is a mirror on one side but you can see through the other. It was fun to be able to watch Blake without him knowing. I was surprised at how grown-up he was and how much he talked to the teachers. It's a relief to know even with Jayla always being there to lean on he can still stand on his own. It sort of makes me feel accomplished, too. It's a validation that maybe I'm doing something right which we as moms don't always get.

Jayla's grown up thing is she is now in her first dance class. She was so excited and could barely contain herself in the days leading up to her first class. She's taking a community class with 3-4 year olds that introduces them to different dance movements. She did so well and I was so proud of her. She always had to be by the teacher and would push her way in if there wasn't room. The teacher would have the kids follow her around the room using different steps or movements and Jayla kept looking at me to make sure I was watching her. I think she was a little proud of herself too. The other thing with Jayla is she's a Sunbeam now. The first time she was a little hesitant to walk into the room but she sat down by her friends and has been good ever since. Now she doesn't even like to wait for me while I take my coat off to walk her to her class. The other day I heard her singing, "Book of Mormon Stories". I'm so excited to see what she'll be like in her first Primary Program.

The picutre above is super crazy picture to me. It's the day that Blake came home from the hospital. I look at it and I can't believe how young Jayla really was. She was still a baby. At the time I didn't see her so much as one but looking back I think, "How did I survive?!, How did I do that?" The best answer is that I just did it because I didn't have any other choice. Now I like to think that I'm more than just surviving and that I'm doing an okay job. Of course there are days when I feel like I'm doing nothing right and I'm the worst mother and homemaker, but don't we all have those days? The important thing is that I'm trying and for the most part putting forth the effort to do my best.

Once There Was a Snowman

I love, love, love this picture. I think it's one that I will cherish forever. A few days after Christmas there was great snowman-building snow so we headed outside to play. In the past Blake has not been a fan of the cold or touching the snow but luckily it wasn't that cold and he ended up having the best time. This was their first snowman ever! I wanted to build it bigger but I discovered that being 7 months pregnant hinders the snowman making process.

Blake is making a snowball and he got pretty good at it.

Jayla thought it was so cool that by rolling it in the snow you can make a little snowball into a great big one.

Oh, what a cutie he is!

I was impressed by Jayla's strength.

It was such a treat to watch the kids play in the snow and make discoveries of what they could do with it, how it tasted, and just how darn fun it is. I remember as a kid me and my siblings would spend hours playing in the snow. It didn't matter that it was cold because when you get the perfect snow your world turns into a magical place. I've always loved the winter but after I had babies I didn't like it that much. It just seemed to be such a hassle but I think I'm back on the snow-lovers side because I'm experiencing that love and fascination of snow again through my kids.

Still Catching Up...Christmas

Blake was really more excited than what this picture shows. He was the one dragging me out of bed. I don't think he wanted to pose for a picture but rather wanted to tear into the presents.

Jayla got a whole set of Little Mermaid jewlery including braclets, earrings, a tiara, and a necklace which I didn't notice played a song until after we opened it. They played it over and over again for two days straight.

I'm so glad that Blake is getting more into boy stuff. Not that there's anything bad about liking Ariel and Dora. I just want him to have a balance. This motorcycle is pretty cool because it plays music and does a pop-a-wheelie before taking off.