It seems crazy to me that this picture was taken two weeks ago. So many things have changed since then. Many of you know that Melia has RSV and is now hospitalized at Primary Children's Hospital and has been there since Sunday. The first two days she was there she looked good and was improving but the doctors warned me that it was going to get worse and it did. She is now in the ICU because she was working too hard to breath. The doctors said that if she continued to work this hard she could get tired and just stop. SCARY! So they transfered her up there to get her on full oxygen. They won't let me feed her because there's a chance she could spit it up and some go into her lungs which would not be good. They put in a feeding tube but it bypasses her stomach so she is ravenous and its so sad when she wakes up and she hears my voice and starts searching for food and I can't give it to her. It breaks my heart. She was doing better today. She's not working so much to breath and they've started weaning her off some of the oxygen.This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. She's going to be okay, and I know this, but it's so hard to watch my baby go through this and then to be away from my other kids. Without my family I would not be surviving. I'm never going to be able to repay them. She received a blessing last night and they blessed her that she might have the strength to get through this and to bless her family with strength also. Whenever I'm having a hard time I think of this and know that there will be an end to all of this madness. I don't think I've ever prayed so much in my life than I have these past five days.
Being in the ICU helps me realize that it could be a lot worse also. There are so many sick kids and some it will take weeks or months to get better and some kids might never. I need to remember that we are indeed very blessed. We're blessed to be in such a good hospital with such good doctors and nurses and to be so close. I don't know what I would do if I couldn't pop home when I needed a break. I'm blessed that Jayla and Blake are such good kids and adjust so well. I miss them so much that it hurts sometimes but it helps to know that they are doing fine with their grandma and that they're happy. I know a lot of you are praying for us and thank you so much because I draw strength from knowing this. Hopefully the next time I post we will all be home together as a family.
